I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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