Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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