i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
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Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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