I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Holy sore nipples Batman
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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