I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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