Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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