i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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