I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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