Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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