who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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