wakey wakey hands off snakey
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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