Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Soap is not a condiment
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my being single is dangerous.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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