I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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