just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
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