we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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