come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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