am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize