I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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