where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize