apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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