dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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