So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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