she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
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She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize