You just made me feel so damn special
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize