He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what day is it and did you see me today?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
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I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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