a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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