I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize