Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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