My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize