her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
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His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have post one night stand depression
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