were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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