she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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