the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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