literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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