I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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