I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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