Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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