Screwed.edu
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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