Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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