no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize