What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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