3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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