Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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