If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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