You can't motorboat a personality
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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