You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize