Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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