I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize