Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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