sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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